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Saturday , 23 November 2024
Home +OK News +OK Warri Gay Man, David Ukre’s Husband Opens Up on Their Wedding

Warri Gay Man, David Ukre’s Husband Opens Up on Their Wedding

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Nigerian man David Ukre became talk of town when himself and his partner Eric T. Shoen took their love life to another level by getting married in New York July 30th.

Much hasn’t been heared from them since that time.

The husband has since opened up to Huffington Post on their wedding. What he revealed below:

We tried very carefully to make sure this wouldn’t happen. Guests were instructed not to take photos during the ceremony. We were very particular about who was invited. It was a sad added bonus that most of the guests from Nigeria cancelled just 24 hours before the ceremony.

On July 30, I married a Nigerian man. Although he is very special to me, he is not famous. He has never done anything to warrant so much media coverage. We had a small ceremony under the leaves of some great old trees on the lawn of an adorable little restaurant. My family and our closest friends joined us. Our vow exchange was only 30 minutes long.

What followed was a day of love, laughter, joy, eating, sore feet, kids running circles around the yard, and family and friends celebrating our day together. We posted only a few photos to our Facebook pages and asked guests to not post photos or mention our marriage.

That night, we went out dancing to a club with friends who stayed over. The next morning, we decided to take some friends with us on the first day of our honeymoon to see Niagara Falls. We were still enjoying every moment of calling each other husband, taking photos kissing in front of the falls, getting sprayed at the Cave of the Winds, and accepting well wishing texts from family and friends.

Monday morning, I woke up early to return the rental car that we had used for the weekend. When I returned, my husband was pacing and crying, distraught, pointing to his phone. Somehow, someone had either sold or given photos from our wedding and first dance to one of Nigeria’s notorious gossip bloggers, Linda Ikeji who chose to publish them on her blog. Whether to out David and make a mockery or to somehow use it as advocacy, no one knows. What we do know is that she had no permission from either of us to use our photos or story.

My husband calls me “the fixer” for a reason. I felt like I might be able to fix this before it got out of control. I called my sister who is an attorney for advice. Given that the information was posted on an international site, there was little we could do. My friends at Google and Blog-spot, and attorneys who are friends of mine gave me the same unfortunate news. Mind you, this is all happening at 6:30 a.m. on a Monday morning. Friends from all over the USA messaged me as soon as I posted on my Facebook for some assistance.

I did contact the blogger directly via email and asked that the photos of our wedding, of our trip with my family, photos of our groomsmen, and direct quotes from my Facebook page be removed. I quickly locked down the security on my Facebook which had been relatively open so that I could use it for advertising and sales. I never heard back from her.

At 7:00 a.m. I got a call from my twin brother, who is my best friend:
J: “Eric, which blog are you talking about?”
Me: “There should only be one”
J: “It’s already on at least a dozen blogs.”

I had to tell David at this point that there was little I could do. At the same time, his phone and my phone started to heat up with Facebook messages from strangers condemning us for being gay. His phone started to ring continuously from unknown Nigerian phone numbers.

I felt lost. I still get a terrible feeling in my stomach just a week and a half later. I hate being helpless. How could our tiny, personal wedding in Rochester mean so much to hateful people on the other side of the planet that they would find us on the internet so they could harass us?

I worked as fast as I could asking bloggers to remove our photos and mention of us, but only one complied. By the end of the day, more than 150 sites had blogged about us. They were not saying anything overtly mean for the most part. The comments, on the other hand, mostly mentioned the “end of times,” beheading us if we came to Nigeria, asking God to rain down evil upon us, suggesting that we get anal cancer and die, calling us devils, and threatening us in various other vulgar ways. Some people commented positively, but they were in the minority.

David’s groomsmen were also accused of being gay. One of them felt compelled to come out via social media after the pressure.

David’s family was harassed by neighbors and local hooligans. He hadn’t told his family we were getting married. They were not even aware he was gay. David’s sister called to make sure we knew that she knew and she supported us. She relayed that his mom was not admitting anything and continued to defend David to anyone who bothered her. His other siblings also messaged us to say that they were being harassed via telephone, in person, and social media.

You might ask yourself why I would share this story.

You see, I fell in love with an amazing Nigerian man. I knew it was illegal for him to be gay in his country. I knew it was illegal for his family to know he was gay and not report him. I never thought that my tiny little wedding in

Rochester, New York to this man would go any further than between our close friends who were invited and maybe some of their friends.

David was afraid to come out of the closet to his family for so many reasons, some of which I recognize in my own coming out story. Telling my parents was very frightening, painful and tough, but they support me now. I grew up here, where letting someone know you are gay was tough, not illegal. Some of David’s reasoning can only be understood by someone who grew up in Nigeria or a similar country where it is illegal to be gay.

Why would this be such big news in Nigeria? I believe it is because the press still wants to vilify gay men and women. They want to show that the USA is a place that corrupts the morals of children and is a den of sin an iniquity. The current political election probably isn’t helping change that impression much. The mere thought of two men getting married is enough to incite vitriol from all corners of Nigeria, and other parts of the world still today.

We queer folk still have a lot of fighting to do. We may have thankfully won marriage equality here on American soil, but until it is legally safe for our gay, queer, trans, and gender non-conforming brothers, sisters, and family to live their lives as they wish to be in all corners of the world, the fight must go on.

Photo Credit: Luke Reynolds Photography / Huffington Post

Comments

comments

642 comments

  1. Uchechi,i hope u not refering to me cos if u are,u are d biggest fool here den.may God mercy on u cos u need help o jare

  2. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Johnchewe Chewe you see your life outside? You trying to preach and you are insulting. My friend go and attend to your sinful life

  3. Better not wear any blended fabrics either, that is a death sentence

  4. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Ovie Ali Omasoro mr man mind your business. When everyone is facing God’s panel it’s Everyman for himself. You will only be judged according to how you lived your life. If you waste your 10mb judging gay people without paying attention to your sinful life then you need help

  5. Zoerick Henry Eric

    Now so this is for real

  6. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Jennifer Ukairo what of fornication? Is that one not condemnable too?

  7. And his word CANNOT return void unto him. Amen Apato Briana Brenda

  8. Who is the dominant sex?

  9. Shorinolu Olusola

    U are practising sodomy? Hell fire straight.

  10. Naraka mantad no…huhuu

  11. Matthew 7: judge not or you will be judged with the same judgement. I have a friend who is gayi know people who have committed fornication a few liers and a few adulterers dont get me wrong i i know many bishops preachers evangalist and im engaged to a pastor and saying all this to say all sin stink in the nostrils of God.God will deal with all unrighteousness. We should continue to spread the Good news of jesus and on judgement day the ALLMIGHTY GOD WILL DO THE JUDGING i think God that i wat be judged on what these men are doing God will judge me on my life

  12. As a man, don’t they both release the same substance. Don’t be so dull

  13. OMG, your comment put scary images in my mind wtf…..

  14. Hannibal K J Darby

    You thought about this alot huh?

  15. shari,thats what am suspecting too!!!

  16. At least they came out in the open. We are not to judge….there are some of you who still hides it…..U0001f608U0001f608U0001f608U0001f608U0001f608

  17. he is so disgusting,i think he needs diapers n tampoons

  18. lol he must be suffering i guess

  19. pcina you mean you really dnt see this as so disgusting???love making should only be between a man n a woman no matter how they choose to do it but certainly not between a man and a man

  20. no some habits are just so silly to ignore,we cant take this silly behavior,i have no respect for these comfused morons

  21. no some habits are just so silly to ignore,we cant take this silly behavior,i have no respect for these comfused morons

  22. no some habits are just so silly to ignore,we cant take this silly behavior,i have no respect for these comfused morons

  23. Ovie Ali Omasoro

    It’s not about religion but African culture…there’s no word for gay in Nigerian dialect cos we never had it in history.. It’s a strange thing to us.

  24. U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602 omg done this comment

  25. U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602 I’m still laughing in tears I’m done

  26. Woh! To that man who does not know his God….my dear! That’s just the common truth

  27. Shelly Blackwood Blake-Dawkins

    Im just here reading the comments, and see who’s against IT, And who’s with IT. Then i check their fb page and i can see why they are with IT.

  28. BREAKING NEWS : David Ukre is pregnant few weeks after his marriage. Information has it that David missed his period and decided to visit the doctor to confirm his pregnancy. After series of tests, it was confirmed that David is truly pregnant. Congratulations.

  29. First time I ever seen a gay African man an that on this article here wow.. Just stay in America don’t go back to Africa…wow they might kill him if he goes back to his home land U0001f633

  30. The dude look happy,like the black guy a woman an the white man the boss just looking at the pic wow

  31. REmember me an commandments law doctrine one shall stay other shall go an remember frist books days of old lot an fam

  32. True James D’Aviator Durojay we do Daily not being perfect taking OOF old putting on New somewhere in both let busy bodies up to higher power called lover’s of themselves if u don’t know u don’t know we all have say remind each other of the coming from east no not when do our best til then the time

  33. End time virus

  34. Debare Oluwakayodemi

    Abeg wetin Orunmila said about it in Opon IfaU0001f644U0001f644U0001f644

  35. Justin Law Hampton

    Bunch of perverts and their cheerleaders.

  36. Justin Law Hampton

    Nigeria, get rid of them as fast as possible! They are trying to run your country in the ground as you start to build. Do not accept this illogical perversion.

  37. Justin Law Hampton

    They’re still a bunch of perverts. Quit trying to divert attention from the fact homosexuals are perverts.

  38. Bright Anicheman

    What a disgrace

  39. Justin Law Hampton

    You sound like an idiot trying to shame Nigerians into accepting perversion.

  40. Justin Law Hampton

    Quit trying to shame people into accepting gay people. They’re perverts.

  41. Im not tring to shame people in to accepting gay if you dont want to be friends with them you have that choice all im saying is God will get everyone for there wrong

  42. Justin Law Hampton

    Any type of sex is only between a adult men and women. Anything else is just perverted.

  43. The guy is meant to out on wedding gown, why the suit?

  44. Jeanette Aanderson

    Instead of judging we hould prayy for God’s help to change us u

  45. Jeanette Aanderson

    No judgement we are all sinners and no one sin is greater than the other. We should all pray for God’s mercy and ask for His forgiveness that his wall be done in our lives. . If you think you age sinless please pray for God’s forgiveness for those you think of as sinners. May God forgive us al

  46. Alexa Dicen Nicolas

    We need your help,we badly needed to merry coz my family abusing my partner.

  47. Hannah Sheyindemi

    Victor Iniovosa Speed your people oooo

  48. Justin Law Hampton haven’t you had sex before marriage? If yes you’re a big sinner too… so get the point cos bible said that all sins are equal in the eyes of God… stealing ordinary pen can lead you to hell so let’s stop being judgemental and hypocrites….. mtcheeeww

  49. Jimoh 'Ojey' Ojeifo

    James D’Aviator Durojay taken time to read your comments and reactions in concurrence with Nelson D Angel and your points are well understood. I really am not a fan of hypocrisy or condemnation as it were but certainly no one will morally or logically come out publicly to say s/he is a pervert, fornicator, adulterer, rapist, murderer and what have u. You know why? They are all sins before God and people do them. There is no one commentor (pardon that word) here who has not sinned against God one way or the other. But we all keep asking for forgiveness daily. I for an assistance had taken fornication to the peak, but if u see where I ask for forgiveness ehn, you will so laugh. Coz I end up doing it again. It takes the grace of God to live in this sinful world. But one thing isn’t just right (correct me if I am wrong), Homosexuality was, is and always will be a highly condemnable sin in God’s eyes just like the previously highlighted sins, whether it was articulated in the 10 commandments or not as defended by Nelson. Societal perception is key in all we do whether is our business or not, because the younger generations will emulate what they see and not what we preach or advise. If a man is kissing a fellow man in public and you have a son watching them, one day he will start kissing a fellow boy! But if he kisses a girl u can only spank and guide him as to when its appropriate to do such. I agree that people should mind their business and clear the logs in their eyes but common bruv! They should make their affairs private just like adultery and not corrupt generations to come. Last bullet: sin pass sin o, just like crime pass crime. Stealing and murder have different punishments in the law court. Attributing a god over our God is a heinous sin different from stealing, so is homosexuality. I sure hope my little U0001f602 contribution is well deciphered. Cheers!

  50. Are you a Virgin?? U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602

  51. It’s not a choice people are born that way

  52. Shut up there are loads of them in Ghana research

  53. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Jimoh ‘Ojey’ Ojeifo correct man U0001f44dU0001f3feU0001f44dU0001f3feU0001f44dU0001f3fe

  54. Alfred Alfoh Alfred

    May God bless yu guys

  55. wtf

  56. To own point of view, they are images of God, and why do we have to be surprize? Things happen, its best that we respect other people’s feeling either of same sex or opposite sex. Lets leave every thing to God, coz only HE CAN JUDGE.

  57. Let them better do it over there because if he bring it back home it means he want to die, because he is trying his god

  58. What a shame to his generation. You irritate

  59. Eluwa Isaac Ifeanyi

    @chidi markk nd also @ james d aviator.if i c a snake nd a gay.i will bomb d gay nd let d snake go.now talking abt sin.even sodom nd gomorah it was becos of such sin gay dat God destroyed it.i pity pple lyk u practising homosexual nd i also pity d pple dat gave birth 2 u.had it been ur parent did same will dey ve given birth u fools nd irritating animals.even a he goat can neva sleep wit a he goat more of less grown up men lyk u.if u dont wash ur hands frm dose rubbish i ve a news 4 u,u will b put 2 death jst lyk ur collegues r facing in kirikiri.irritating animals.if u lyk use english dey cover am ur ass go tear 1 day

  60. Taurai Simatanga

    This is so true!!!!

  61. If his father was a gay will they be able to have him as son if not through a woman, I have one thing to tell him since he have decided to try the god that great him by engaging him self in such a nonsense he will see the wrought of God soon.

  62. This is why God destroyed sodom and Gommorah

  63. And you’re judging others too by saying they’re judging them.
    Going by your Bible logic

  64. Iron jam Iron

  65. Daniel Ongera Nyairo

    I personally believe that anybody who is overly hateful of gay is likely gay themselves and thus they are trying to convince themselves they aren’t. Otherwise, I don’t understand why you would call for the murder of people you don’t even know in person

  66. All of you that is supporting this gay guys and the man who legalys it this act will all perish in hail fire in jesus name amen…

  67. Bello George Eveshoyan

    Guys…..make una calm down…cus say dis guy na warri guy ..na warri we go take talk…this whole idea of been gay is all about the world moving towards liberalism… And seriously am a liberal person thats why I will not go and strap myself to a bomb to kill people for them to accept my faith…or will I go into a spiritual rant of demon possession cus some is making a life choice…yes I agree d world was conservative been gay was never wat we were use to…but been a prostitute or a cheating wife or husband was never wat we r use to…but day especially in Nigeria if u are a rich man den u are allowed to fxxxxk all the girls in Benin warri and Lagos combined.. Been a prostitute was also never allowed but today people are in Europe and more wishing to go to Europe to prostitute so as to make money and build houses in Benin and warri…and today is been accepted as hustle…so my people me I no be gay cus wetin dey for woman skirt e sweet me pass wetin dey my own boxers… But dere are people who like beans in akara or moimoi.. Pls let stop d hate and see that the world is moving towards liberal society of the benefits of liberalism alot of us have benefited from…..live and let’s live..be ur gay make I be my skirt lover..but no use ur reggae spoil my own blues

  68. See, ur mouth don BIG finish wey u take Dey suck and talk rubbish. U need God in ur life and secondly don’t ever try to convince people like me to believe in ur shameful act.
    Gay kill u‼️

  69. Akhabue Bigboy Rapheal

    Na ur money he wants collect from you oyebo

  70. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Sean Blex go and face your miserable and sinful life. After drinking 5 bottles of Heineken and always sleeping around with different girls , you still have the balls to be telling someone that he needs God in his life. Bloody hypocrite. Let me ask you when last did you open your bible? When last did you go to church? Face your sinful and perverse life

  71. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Chekwube Angel you Africans need to learn how to mind your own business.

  72. Check out perfecktshun.blogspot.com for more interesting updates

  73. @ Jimoh ‘Ojey’ Ojeifo what you guys don’t understand is that people don’t choose to be gay… is the genes… someone who is gay act as one from childhood, you’ll notice some being attracted to girls stuffs, some talking or walking like a girl, some are lazy like girls… etc…
    I know it’s a sin before God but remember the 10 commandments is the highest sin God listed out but yet many are still in that sin like Adultery,stealing,killing yet we don’t condemn them as we do to homos why? But remember that God said All sins are equal in his eyes,stealing a matches can lead you go hell……
    Why I’m against the condemnation is all of us have sinned and fall short the glory of God so who are we to judge when we all are sinners.?
    Even jesus said “he who among you with no sin let he cast the stone to the Adulterous woman” so you see he didn’t support in stoning the Adulterous to death…. but you remember that it’s the same bible that told us that any Adulterous should be put to death now can you tell me why Jesus didn’t abide with that rules? Cos he knows he’s no one to judge and that those who came to stone the woman are all sinners… so let’s judge ourselves before judging on others…
    For you saying that seeing same gender kissing in public can make a child learn that the answer is NO cos it’ll be disgusting to them cos they’re not born that way… it can only attract him if he’s born that way…….
    Do you think one will make a choice of what he knows is not good and will be bullied at ? NO
    do you know how many that have committed suicide once they realise who they are ? I guess you don’t…
    I appreciate your comment but I got some point wrong….
    X
    #LOVEWINS

  74. James D'Aviator Durojay

    The funny thing about all these religious blockheads quoting Leviticus is that either they are ignorant or they are just being deluded or hypocritical . The same Leviticus also says you should not eat pork or wear denim. Why then do you eat pork? You say Jesus has freed us from the law lol

  75. God hv mercy on dem

  76. I don’t want to comment about heaven and hell , because I have friends in both places. .

  77. All gay people know this vers in the bible he who is without sin should cast the first stone

  78. Adeshola Adewusi

    Its easy to point out one sin cause its not your kind of sin, you just lie, steal, fornicate, all the things that the bible said no to, but let’s kill the gay people and God should strike them down right. Well let the person without sin cast the first stone. I congratulate you guys and you aren’t hurting anyone by loving each other

  79. Nwakaego Victoria Weinreich u sure say u real? U look fake to me. Anyway, I will be very happy to see u marry ur father. Mumu.. Ur Brazilian hair don cover ur Brain.

  80. You people should stop posting Dirty stuffs. Pls post News that will benefit everyone. Or post that can uplift one. Not all these kind news I beg.

  81. Ging Dano Manligues

    God made adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.

  82. Ivanko Zion Pikin

    Toni you are truly a stupid man for bringing his mom into ur senseless post.. common sense

  83. Toni Tega Epapala

    God punish ur father and ur retarded mom for insulting me here u brainless idiot. May ur penish shrink

  84. Ivanko Zion Pikin

    your name is really working for u…

  85. Chekwube if you call this a sickness. I assume you mean a mental illness.Then you must agree that most people with mental issues don’t even understand they are sick. So why condemn someone for something you believe is a sickness

  86. As for the issue of anal Sex. Well guess what. Loads of men do it with women and no one speaks out about it. It is this law of silence in Africa that makes women and children suffer in silence. We are scared to speak out for fear of being stigmatised and abused. I have seen enough cases of African women who lament that their husbands pressure them into anal Sex and other such acts. But I guess we are not going to go around here screaming and wishing those men death.

  87. Ang Ferešte Malaika

    Leviticus 19:19 “‘Keep my decrees. “‘Do not mate different kinds of animals. “‘Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. “‘Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.” I guess we are all guilty then.

  88. Now I am really taking out time to explain this.
    We must learn to respect and value ourselves as human beings.
    Do you realise that man has so many qualities? I A man could be gay yet contribute so much to better the life of others in society.
    Gay couple, like other couples also have love and affection for one another. They are kind to each other and support each other. That is all positive.
    I think it is also disgusting to have sexual relationship with someone that is repulsive to you or where there are no feelings. If I was not attracted to men I would opt for a woman. I would be true to myself.

  89. Nelson D Angel infact, that ur grand pa well well

  90. Alexander Chapman Ayebare

    Fools of the century

  91. This is not right at all …..what do kids learn from this kind of marriage

  92. Otunba Lala Ttboy

    Hanna Hof Who invited you over?

  93. Animals in skin

  94. Bunch of fools

  95. Very bad news before God my brothers let’s think well because God was not a full to creat man and woman.

  96. Zeal Black Victor

    you guys need jesus

  97. Just let them live their life and face your life. Y should everyone live the way you live.please is their life not yours.

  98. Mcbiodun Shola Aiyeola

    Abomination and sin both are different…..immorality from the western world as gotten into alot of people and they see that as civilization. …

  99. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Sean Blex you are a classified fool because if you are not, you won’t be coming to my wall to be hurling insults over my own opinion. You won’t jump Into a silly conclusion that anyone who criticizes those who attack gay people as gays themselves.You are suffering from an incurable madness and you need to see the doctor to cure your mental illness.
    Only idiots who have no valid points or incapable of engaging in intellectual discourse resort to insults and attacks.
    Go and attend to your sinful and miserable life and stop poke nosing into other people’s affairs. You can jump into the lagoon when you see a gay man. Stupid nitwit

  100. It'z Ekoh Rmb BobLloyd

    oh! i can see you pye fallin out of your anus basterd born by mistack!…. .

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