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Warri Gay Man, David Ukre’s Husband Opens Up on Their Wedding

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Nigerian man David Ukre became talk of town when himself and his partner Eric T. Shoen took their love life to another level by getting married in New York July 30th.

Much hasn’t been heared from them since that time.

The husband has since opened up to Huffington Post on their wedding. What he revealed below:

We tried very carefully to make sure this wouldn’t happen. Guests were instructed not to take photos during the ceremony. We were very particular about who was invited. It was a sad added bonus that most of the guests from Nigeria cancelled just 24 hours before the ceremony.

On July 30, I married a Nigerian man. Although he is very special to me, he is not famous. He has never done anything to warrant so much media coverage. We had a small ceremony under the leaves of some great old trees on the lawn of an adorable little restaurant. My family and our closest friends joined us. Our vow exchange was only 30 minutes long.

What followed was a day of love, laughter, joy, eating, sore feet, kids running circles around the yard, and family and friends celebrating our day together. We posted only a few photos to our Facebook pages and asked guests to not post photos or mention our marriage.

That night, we went out dancing to a club with friends who stayed over. The next morning, we decided to take some friends with us on the first day of our honeymoon to see Niagara Falls. We were still enjoying every moment of calling each other husband, taking photos kissing in front of the falls, getting sprayed at the Cave of the Winds, and accepting well wishing texts from family and friends.

Monday morning, I woke up early to return the rental car that we had used for the weekend. When I returned, my husband was pacing and crying, distraught, pointing to his phone. Somehow, someone had either sold or given photos from our wedding and first dance to one of Nigeria’s notorious gossip bloggers, Linda Ikeji who chose to publish them on her blog. Whether to out David and make a mockery or to somehow use it as advocacy, no one knows. What we do know is that she had no permission from either of us to use our photos or story.

My husband calls me “the fixer” for a reason. I felt like I might be able to fix this before it got out of control. I called my sister who is an attorney for advice. Given that the information was posted on an international site, there was little we could do. My friends at Google and Blog-spot, and attorneys who are friends of mine gave me the same unfortunate news. Mind you, this is all happening at 6:30 a.m. on a Monday morning. Friends from all over the USA messaged me as soon as I posted on my Facebook for some assistance.

I did contact the blogger directly via email and asked that the photos of our wedding, of our trip with my family, photos of our groomsmen, and direct quotes from my Facebook page be removed. I quickly locked down the security on my Facebook which had been relatively open so that I could use it for advertising and sales. I never heard back from her.

At 7:00 a.m. I got a call from my twin brother, who is my best friend:
J: “Eric, which blog are you talking about?”
Me: “There should only be one”
J: “It’s already on at least a dozen blogs.”

I had to tell David at this point that there was little I could do. At the same time, his phone and my phone started to heat up with Facebook messages from strangers condemning us for being gay. His phone started to ring continuously from unknown Nigerian phone numbers.

I felt lost. I still get a terrible feeling in my stomach just a week and a half later. I hate being helpless. How could our tiny, personal wedding in Rochester mean so much to hateful people on the other side of the planet that they would find us on the internet so they could harass us?

I worked as fast as I could asking bloggers to remove our photos and mention of us, but only one complied. By the end of the day, more than 150 sites had blogged about us. They were not saying anything overtly mean for the most part. The comments, on the other hand, mostly mentioned the “end of times,” beheading us if we came to Nigeria, asking God to rain down evil upon us, suggesting that we get anal cancer and die, calling us devils, and threatening us in various other vulgar ways. Some people commented positively, but they were in the minority.

David’s groomsmen were also accused of being gay. One of them felt compelled to come out via social media after the pressure.

David’s family was harassed by neighbors and local hooligans. He hadn’t told his family we were getting married. They were not even aware he was gay. David’s sister called to make sure we knew that she knew and she supported us. She relayed that his mom was not admitting anything and continued to defend David to anyone who bothered her. His other siblings also messaged us to say that they were being harassed via telephone, in person, and social media.

You might ask yourself why I would share this story.

You see, I fell in love with an amazing Nigerian man. I knew it was illegal for him to be gay in his country. I knew it was illegal for his family to know he was gay and not report him. I never thought that my tiny little wedding in

Rochester, New York to this man would go any further than between our close friends who were invited and maybe some of their friends.

David was afraid to come out of the closet to his family for so many reasons, some of which I recognize in my own coming out story. Telling my parents was very frightening, painful and tough, but they support me now. I grew up here, where letting someone know you are gay was tough, not illegal. Some of David’s reasoning can only be understood by someone who grew up in Nigeria or a similar country where it is illegal to be gay.

Why would this be such big news in Nigeria? I believe it is because the press still wants to vilify gay men and women. They want to show that the USA is a place that corrupts the morals of children and is a den of sin an iniquity. The current political election probably isn’t helping change that impression much. The mere thought of two men getting married is enough to incite vitriol from all corners of Nigeria, and other parts of the world still today.

We queer folk still have a lot of fighting to do. We may have thankfully won marriage equality here on American soil, but until it is legally safe for our gay, queer, trans, and gender non-conforming brothers, sisters, and family to live their lives as they wish to be in all corners of the world, the fight must go on.

Photo Credit: Luke Reynolds Photography / Huffington Post

Comments

comments

642 comments

  1. Prince Apina Chucks Desmond

    warri man, just dey laugh that mugu called white man… I believe that mugu has a enough income, I pray make warri carry last ooo.

  2. Costa Edmondarmah Rica

    We are obliged to preach and win soul for Christ so why then should we stop saying things or practice that goes against the teachings of the Lord. We saying this to help the young one so that they may follow the right path and the teachings of the bible

  3. Those cursing should worry more about your dying country and economy.
    These two men, as much as some of us may not approve of gay marriage, it is still their right/life and it does not in any way affect us, worst than how Buhari and his illicit government has affected millions.
    You people should save your miserable selves from the drowning ship of your country than concentrating on men who chose to be gays.
    Let God judge them. I’m not an advocate of such acts, but their so-called sin is not worse than fornicators, scammers, adulterers etc. Sin is sin before God.
    If they say petrol is #200 tomorrow, most of u will be quiet about it, but here you are calling die die die on people who are gays probably in western country, are you God?
    As usual, weak and empty brains will call me gay for calling them out in their foolishness.
    Poverty and economic/political corruption is the problem in Nigeria and not those who are gays abroad.
    Focus on the real problem and hide you archaic and stupid mentality in your cupboard

  4. poverty is bad

  5. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Costa Edmondarmah Rica no one is saying you shouldn’t preach the gospel of Christ but the question is, are you yourself practicing the teachings of Jesus Christ? Remove the log in your eyes first before removing the speck in another persons eyes.

  6. Before they divorce there is no way he would not contribute to the destruction of that anus. So sad.

  7. Its not a matter of ashamed but he as an any relationship he wants to protect his partner. Their mistakes cause I don’t judge people is that they took pictures and he posted them to his Facebook, what was he Warri expected. Its sad that a person would be kill for what I believe and how God created them. Homesexuality its about the chromosomes in the person body which they are born with. So ,who created human beings, isn’t it God?
    Who the hell are we to judge. Non gay people rapping and defiling an 18mos old babies isn’t that’s more of a sin to the same sex, you Nigerian causing frauds against each other, killing people for stealing, cutting their hands, instead of finding out why your brother or sister steal to help but noooo, you most stone them ,burned and cut them to death.
    Please ,by the way, Nigeria have a lot of gays and lesbians. Those school girls fingering each other, is this not gay. Nigeria s gay community remain under cover, they are married as I know some, yesss, married bare children all for sake of culture norm yet they secretly sleeping with opposite sez. Ever wonder why pur HIV rate is soo high? Its because we are commending things yet, many of you ladies have slept with a gay man and didn’t know it. If you never sinned throw the first stone. Remember you sleeping in a glass house. Ummm

  8. why you be gay tooo????

  9. Bravo! Someone finally said it! Keep it coming and don’t let the keyboard warriors get at you U0001f44fU0001f3feU0001f44fU0001f3feU0001f44fU0001f3feU0001f44fU0001f3fe

  10. Shoto Blinks look at this mugu! So because he expressed a very rational and responsible point of view you are making allusions of him being gay? Talk about illiteracy and hypocrisy at it’s finest. Take two seats dude!

  11. I don’t think it’s wrong . Obviously this is who he is meant to be . As long as he is happy and he is with a good person. I wouldn’t care less if my son’s was with a man or a woman aslong as they was happy

  12. Seriously…. It’s sad to see this much hypocrisy when the lots of them do nothing but cheat on their partners ! Look at hem all judging c**ts

  13. Seriously…. It’s sad to see this much hypocrisy when the lots of them do nothing but cheat on their partners ! Look at hem all judging c**ts

  14. Azubuike Jude Jucel

    Lmao… Ur ancestors are watching indeed

  15. Azubuike Jude Jucel

    Lmao… Ur ancestors are watching indeed

  16. I see all these biblical comments..
    Soo what ever happened to…
    ” love thy neighbour as thyself? ”
    Everybody who is soo full of hate to even see this??
    Your ticket to hell awaits you as well!
    Two wrongs definately dont make a right! U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602

  17. What a show of shame.

  18. See mugu with goat head

  19. Saleem Isa unfortunately, you lazy ass kinsmen , the foolanis insist that they must live together in Nigeria with the great Igbos.
    They said if Igbos go, the Hausa foolanis will die of hunger and extra poverty.
    I wonder how u hate people that u call armed robbers, prostitutes, but u won’t let them go and form Biafra.
    Who is a bigger fool? It’s the foolanis

  20. Ugwu David so she is bisexual because she said the couple looks good together? Seriously go buy yourselves some brains ffs! It’s 2016 but most of you Nigerians are not arsed to educate yourself and stay polite! FB only made the lots of you show the worst and make other Nigerians pass for uneducated fools!
    Someone saying the couple looks good together does not mean they are bisexuals or whatever. And even if they are what’s your business? Instead go and judge the pastors that are pretending to be angels while they hump the ladies in the congregation and worse! Or Idle men who cheat on their partners with everything that moves!
    #hypocrisyatitsfinest

  21. Pls as a Christians, let’s keep saying what the Bible say against gay’s and lesbianism, nobody on earth should keep us quiet, Leviticus 20 says it all, but in all let us pray diligently for all our children not to fall a prey.

  22. Saleem Isa Aboki foolani, poverty is a disease. We don’t like the disease which you idiots spread to us because we live in same country.
    So to answer you, YES we MUST be rich.
    Does it pain you bcos people aspire to be rich. ? Banzar

  23. How about you ladies taking in from your anus, isn’t it the same thing? Please …

  24. NaNa AkUm PrAko AfRifa

    But how can a man look at another man and fell in love with him?? Ah well we all different people different mind set… God bless them tho

  25. I pity d family u r coming , God forgive u , if u don’t change u die of HIV/AIDS, all in name of money

  26. Thanks Irene Marce U0001f44fU0001f44fU0001f44f

  27. Thanks Irene Marce U0001f44fU0001f44fU0001f44f

  28. Azubuike Jude Jucel

    Lmao… Beta be oo

  29. Azubuike Jude Jucel

    Lmao… Beta be oo

  30. How about you, have you not release hot sperm in a woman’s anus, so what’s difference? Would you classify yourselves as gay?ummm and all you ladies, trust me you all at some point have slept with a gay man and didn’t know it. A lot of man in Nigeria are gay by they date woman and even get married have children for cover up to avoid the norm and to be killed.

  31. How about you, have you not release hot sperm in a woman’s anus, so what’s difference? Would you classify yourselves as gay?ummm and all you ladies, trust me you all at some point have slept with a gay man and didn’t know it. A lot of man in Nigeria are gay by they date woman and even get married have children for cover up to avoid the norm and to be killed.

  32. Keaitumela Nkwe you’re most welcome! Just Saying it the way it is since the others don’t get it obviously

  33. Innocent Nwaeze Elvis

    What a stupid comments

  34. Mbarikiwa Jane Baraka

    The devil is a big liar. God created Adam n Eve not adam n steve, no one is judging them either its their life, let them be after all its their asses not ours.

  35. My fellow Nigerians Applause. Ich God’s warriors! Please when you finish here continue the good work…..
    Our parent’s after years of toil don’t have a pension. People dying of poverty and curable diseases. Please attack that too.
    I am deeply religious but I know that all have sinned. I also know that God’s judgment is not that of Man. These are two consenting adults. What about the constant rapes and so much more. Man things you do with women are also forbidden in the holy books.
    It is a sin to wish another person death or condemnation. If you think your brother has sinned then pray for God’s intervention. Has any one of us deserved heaven? When God complained to Lot about Sodom. Ich What did Lot do? He pleaded on their behalf. Yes I believe it is a sin but I believe that we all commit sins even more grievous. So if you are call down the wrath of God he might just wipe us all out. The real problem is that humans have lost their humanity.

  36. I am not saying you should be gay. I am saying. Stay in your country if you think like that, because its everywhere.! U0001f602
    Dont even dare to go on holiday U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602
    I am reading dead treads and everything. And i think its sad!

  37. Innocent Nwaeze Elvis

    Buhari no day pay guys again that’s why you your doing this one abi ? What a shame

  38. Eluwa Isaac Ifeanyi

    He is supporting dem.coz if he is not how could he be calling sum1 who discribed d act as being sinful nd abnomiable a hypocrise.. pity all of u practising it nd supporting dem on social media.u shall neva escape d rot of God

  39. Peter mark must u insult someone

  40. Nkosinathi Madonsela

    Keaitumela Nkwe and Irene Marce you ladies are awesome!

  41. Loris Silems j savais pas que tu t’es marié

  42. Chioma Anyiam Akalonu

    U better remain in USA because if you touch ur feet 4 Warri u go know how far, Warri no dey carry last anuofia

  43. Irene Marce exactly!!

  44. I see in a far way that, the sky is going to fall down . may the hell upon to both t gays and their husbands

  45. Eluwa Isaac Ifeanyi

    U 2 focus on ur country problem nd stop attacking dos condeming gay marriage.

  46. Another wasted sperm smh.

  47. Nkosinathi Madonsela

    They really do look good and happy together! Wish them all the love and happiness in the world!

  48. Fool is warri ibos

  49. James D'Aviator Durojay

    Beatrice Gbadebo the world would have been a better place if people respect their boundaries. As long as two consenting men or women decide to straff themselves and they are not disturbing you then you should mind your business and face your sinful life.
    Every parent has the responsibility of training up their children in way of God when they are young. What you are seeing presently is a reflection of parents to install moral sense when their kids were young. Failure to inculcate moral values on your kids when they are young and that’s why you are seeing what’s happening. Stop coming here and be forming emergency pastor when your house is dirty

  50. Eluwa Isaac Ifeanyi

    D tin tire me oooo.i wonder how dey wnt tak enjoy am.wey fine babes wey get beta ass nd breast full every where.

  51. Costa Edmondarmah Rica

    James D’Aviator Durojay
    We are not judging but we are rather condemning cos the bible tells us to condemned not to judged

  52. Only in Nigeria/Africa that an ashawo, scammer, armed robber, fornicators will come on social media to quote bible for gays, lesbians, and transsexuals, cursing them that God will kill them because they are committing abomination.
    These internet moronic judges do not know that bible said sin is an abomination before God, whether scammers, prostitutes, fornicators, adulterers, gays and lesbians, etc, all are sinners and according to the bible you all have same location in hell.
    Remove the small stick in your eyes so u can see clearly to remove the log of wood in another person’s eyes.
    I grew up as a seminarian, I know the bible just as some Muslims do cram almost all pages of Koran. The truth is that majority of religious people are hypocrites.
    I can remember when Pope said that gays should be allowed into the church, because refusing them can also be refusing them salvation. Many went gaga bcos of that reasoning.
    People, please start mental re-evaluation. We have a serious problem with how we reason.

  53. What’s fascinating is that we calking ourselves Christians, yet a one sin greater than the other? Is defiling an 18mos baby less sinful than being gay for two consenting adults. Those who sinned not throw the first stone, ummm careful you live in a glass house ok..
    I don’t judge for several reasons and if some people would educatw themselves about how the human body works, you will learn homesxualiry is due that one X chromosomes male babies received from their mother and I’d this chromosomes is missing, male babe than gain more of the female traits. Due your research and again, did God not created human life, so how do you explain these people were born,did they come from the unknown trees and drop from the sky, you all are intelligent use your Brian’s its simple, God made all human beings in His own image.

  54. Love is all that matters

  55. Onajoko Olusola Adeolu

    In completion another wasted sperm and egg, what a pity.

  56. Eluwa Isaac Ifeanyi I focus on the country’s problem always. And I need to correct the weak mental reasoning of people like you.
    In the past, prostitution used to be an eyesore , but today, u can make it as a profession, legally binding in many places. In the past, fornication is a taboo, but today, u see a boy of 15 with his gf in an intimate way, and u say it’s their period for that.
    In the past, Europe was as tough on gays as Africa is today, but Europe has legalise gays in their countries today.
    My point is that, it’s normal for some of u to still express your primitive mentalities on what we see as sins, we all did share same in the past.
    I have grown to be able to say, I don’t like the gay act just as I don’t like fornication and scamming when it comes to sins and abominations. But since I can’t condemn a fornicator to death, I can’t also wish a gay death, but rather train with him in love and common sense.
    Most of you are so ignorantly ranting death death to gays. Are you better?, can u say u don’t have something another person will call sin? At least the common one is fornication.
    When u can’t be articulative and reason well, please don’t even contribute on my comment thread

  57. Said Stellar Aisha

    May they produce more children to fill the earth

  58. I am evil because?

  59. If you say you respect other countries laws. Why is this man being bullied? Because he’s Nigerian?
    He does not live in Nigeria? Soo different rules apply, yeh??

  60. Lloyd Best as a low life buffoon, that’s all you can say.
    Don’t be surprise some1 like u is an Internet scammer. U should face firing squad maybe.. Or as a fornicator and u should face death by stoning.

  61. Costa Edmondarmah Rica

    Do you know the children of these days are practicing because of such things they are doing. We look not today but the future so if we continue the condemnation we will have a better future

  62. Don Malcom Chinaemerem

    Don’t be stupid. I have nothing against gay people. …. but you saying stay in your country or don’t go on a holiday makes you look stupid.

  63. Onajoko Olusola Adeolu

    Yes he is not living in Nigeria, and it will be good for him to stay exactly where he is now.

  64. Soo why bother the man?? U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602
    You know how many homosexuals there is?? What’s the point??

  65. Let come and be going mbok

  66. Don? If you have nothing against gay people? Then obviously i wasn’t talking to you. Geuss your the one who looks stupid.

  67. Eluwa Isaac Ifeanyi

    @ costa rica leave dis man alone he is among dem dats y he is attacking u.wat is his bizness if u preach d gospel 2 d world nd 2 dirty nd useless sinners lyk him operating gay distroying d world.

  68. Let me come and be go mbok

  69. Malcom Peinor. Your ancestor were doing the same. Do you think gay is something new. Why you care if sperm is hot or naw

  70. That book that the so called holier than thou are quoting from said all have sinned and fall short.. And here is one strait from the man himself when they wanted to kill that adulterous woman.. He said to the hypocrites he that is without sin cast the first stone.. Take that energy and go to the thieving politicians with it.. And yes that is a sin too.. thou shalt not steal.. (Thief) Leave them people alone….

  71. What a beautiful happy newlywed couple. Good for them.

  72. That’s their cup of tea… What ever we do, our reward awaits us.. Whether good or bad.. Always bear that in mind

  73. Don Malcom Chinaemerem

    Hanna.. you look stupid. Some of you display your hate for blacks , Arabs, hispanics, fat people. . Junkies… to mention a few. Pls tell them not to go on holiday.

  74. what do u mean by rest of the world, so many countries do not support this evil act called gay. thunder fire u there, come to Dubai and prates ur gay let me see if u will go free. Musilam and Christians do not support gay because it is abomination.Hanna hof, we know u are one of them .

  75. Don Malcom Chinaemerem

    What is the connection between going on a holiday and the Topic. ?

  76. Louise Jacobs why do you white people always want to tell us what to like or hate? Can’t Africans just be?

  77. May God deliver all of you gays and lesibians. Seriously if you can sleep with a fellow man/woman what can stop you from sleeping with a lion/dog/cat? These animals so called gays have a psychological problem. They seriously need deliverance. I myself can not shake hands with a gay man. It’s so disgusting, I feel like puking whenever I come across one. Especially that they smell so badly. Gash!!

  78. All d best,if dat s ur choice.happy 4 u.warri ppl dey greet.

  79. am just thinking how can this people feel to have sex with a follow man like him. while there are so many beautiful ladies everywhere.i think there is spirit behind this evil act.

  80. NaNa AkUm PrAko AfRifa

    It’s sad but everyone deserves to be happy.. If this’s what makes them happy God bless them…

  81. Mr James Gay is not sin. It’s abnormal and unnatural. Stop deceiving yourself with blind dead logic. Sex is between man and woman. Not men or women.

  82. Louise Jacobs africans dont like gay…. So u cant tell us to start liking it….. Kush it rubbish

  83. Look at em gooooo!! U0001f602U0001f446U0001f446
    And you’re calling me evil?? Hhaha omg dont make me laugh.

  84. James D’Aviator Durojay Thunder fire u and ur boundaries! Ur mom is unhappy having a child like u believe me. So disgusting u from AFRICA. Shame‼️ u look… Infact Na OGUN go kill u‼️mothersucker!

  85. You see what you want to see. That is only your hate in your heart.
    Me? Obviously i find it very entertaining. I speak politely towards you and yet you go crazy.
    Geuss, we’re not on the same level.

  86. today in the UK. they have opened a restaurant if u want to enter there u must go in naked everyone. their call it ‘nude restaurant’..

  87. Gift Esosa Omorusi

    Forreal! He became gay real quick for the money. Some people need Jesus!

  88. The connection Don? See the explanation in my earlier remark. Gay people are everywhere. Soo if you’re soo disgusted? Stay at home. No bother.

  89. Who CAN??

  90. Perversion, absurdity and abomination of the highest order.

  91. Don’t call her evil because she has different opinion. You like gays, good for you. We don’t like it, period.

  92. Gay is not sin, it’s an anomaly, biological problem. It’s abnormal and unnatural. Stop deceiving yourself with blind dead logic. Sex is between man and woman. Not men or women. Gay people are sick and need therapy. It’s ok to be abnormal. But making making it seem ok is the problem. It’s not ok, and deep down inside your heart… U know it.

  93. Gay is not sin, it’s an anomaly, biological problem. It’s abnormal and unnatural. Stop deceiving yourself with blind dead logic. Sex is between man and woman. Not men or women. Gay people are sick and need therapy. It’s ok to be abnormal. But making making it seem ok is the problem. It’s not ok, and deep down inside your heart… U know it.

  94. I dont like all gays. Some can be very bitchy. But yes .. i can see myself as a social butterfly.
    I like to meet new people and learn from other cultures. Only??
    By the rule : ” live and let live “.
    I would never visit Nigeria. It seems way to unlogic and strict to me. I am a free woman.

  95. Costa Edmondarmah Rica

    Hahaha dis world na something oh every body ge I own view

  96. Chekwube Angel now i understand it better. But what goes on in someone’s bedroom?? Why is that anyone else their bussiness?

  97. Olufemi Adedipe Did I hit a nerve dude? You should actually pack it, as in seriously and put your mouth where I think you should put it! Who ever talked about accepting anything in Nigeria? Or are your comprehension skills limited to judging? I feel your pain… Believe me I truly do… So much hate and anger bottled up that you totally skipped the point of the message of what “big deal” actually implies here. Example:
    Big deal: Isis and Boko Haram killings going unpunished
    Not a big deal: two men who decides to do what they want with their bodies.
    U0001f32a

  98. Julius Makana Jnr

    Sin is sin. God hates all sin ~ no matter what it is. That’s why Jesus came to die and rose again! ~ to shed His blood to take away our sins. However, we are told to REPENT and ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. Those who practice same-sex relationships go into it without looking to REPENT. They have no desire to STOP this sin ~ so much so they are now getting married without ever looking to end that relationship. It’s openly committing sin without the desire to repent ~ ever.

  99. Emanuele Copertari

    Abomination is all the pedophiles, who are u to judge. Live and let live and try to drift away from your cloud of ignorance .

  100. For sooo many centuries gay people all over the world are rocking their talents.
    The gays ( haha sorry)are:
    -making the clothes you wear..
    -preparing the food you eat.
    – are leaders in fashion your sooo dying to rock! U0001f602U0001f602
    Come on now… they are everywhere and yet you are denying this

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