Nigerian man David Ukre became talk of town when himself and his partner Eric T. Shoen took their love life to another level by getting married in New York July 30th.
Much hasn’t been heared from them since that time.
The husband has since opened up to Huffington Post on their wedding. What he revealed below:
We tried very carefully to make sure this wouldn’t happen. Guests were instructed not to take photos during the ceremony. We were very particular about who was invited. It was a sad added bonus that most of the guests from Nigeria cancelled just 24 hours before the ceremony.
On July 30, I married a Nigerian man. Although he is very special to me, he is not famous. He has never done anything to warrant so much media coverage. We had a small ceremony under the leaves of some great old trees on the lawn of an adorable little restaurant. My family and our closest friends joined us. Our vow exchange was only 30 minutes long.
What followed was a day of love, laughter, joy, eating, sore feet, kids running circles around the yard, and family and friends celebrating our day together. We posted only a few photos to our Facebook pages and asked guests to not post photos or mention our marriage.
That night, we went out dancing to a club with friends who stayed over. The next morning, we decided to take some friends with us on the first day of our honeymoon to see Niagara Falls. We were still enjoying every moment of calling each other husband, taking photos kissing in front of the falls, getting sprayed at the Cave of the Winds, and accepting well wishing texts from family and friends.
Monday morning, I woke up early to return the rental car that we had used for the weekend. When I returned, my husband was pacing and crying, distraught, pointing to his phone. Somehow, someone had either sold or given photos from our wedding and first dance to one of Nigeria’s notorious gossip bloggers, Linda Ikeji who chose to publish them on her blog. Whether to out David and make a mockery or to somehow use it as advocacy, no one knows. What we do know is that she had no permission from either of us to use our photos or story.
My husband calls me “the fixer” for a reason. I felt like I might be able to fix this before it got out of control. I called my sister who is an attorney for advice. Given that the information was posted on an international site, there was little we could do. My friends at Google and Blog-spot, and attorneys who are friends of mine gave me the same unfortunate news. Mind you, this is all happening at 6:30 a.m. on a Monday morning. Friends from all over the USA messaged me as soon as I posted on my Facebook for some assistance.
I did contact the blogger directly via email and asked that the photos of our wedding, of our trip with my family, photos of our groomsmen, and direct quotes from my Facebook page be removed. I quickly locked down the security on my Facebook which had been relatively open so that I could use it for advertising and sales. I never heard back from her.
At 7:00 a.m. I got a call from my twin brother, who is my best friend:
J: “Eric, which blog are you talking about?”
Me: “There should only be one”
J: “It’s already on at least a dozen blogs.”I had to tell David at this point that there was little I could do. At the same time, his phone and my phone started to heat up with Facebook messages from strangers condemning us for being gay. His phone started to ring continuously from unknown Nigerian phone numbers.
I felt lost. I still get a terrible feeling in my stomach just a week and a half later. I hate being helpless. How could our tiny, personal wedding in Rochester mean so much to hateful people on the other side of the planet that they would find us on the internet so they could harass us?
I worked as fast as I could asking bloggers to remove our photos and mention of us, but only one complied. By the end of the day, more than 150 sites had blogged about us. They were not saying anything overtly mean for the most part. The comments, on the other hand, mostly mentioned the “end of times,” beheading us if we came to Nigeria, asking God to rain down evil upon us, suggesting that we get anal cancer and die, calling us devils, and threatening us in various other vulgar ways. Some people commented positively, but they were in the minority.
David’s groomsmen were also accused of being gay. One of them felt compelled to come out via social media after the pressure.
David’s family was harassed by neighbors and local hooligans. He hadn’t told his family we were getting married. They were not even aware he was gay. David’s sister called to make sure we knew that she knew and she supported us. She relayed that his mom was not admitting anything and continued to defend David to anyone who bothered her. His other siblings also messaged us to say that they were being harassed via telephone, in person, and social media.
You might ask yourself why I would share this story.
You see, I fell in love with an amazing Nigerian man. I knew it was illegal for him to be gay in his country. I knew it was illegal for his family to know he was gay and not report him. I never thought that my tiny little wedding in
Rochester, New York to this man would go any further than between our close friends who were invited and maybe some of their friends.
David was afraid to come out of the closet to his family for so many reasons, some of which I recognize in my own coming out story. Telling my parents was very frightening, painful and tough, but they support me now. I grew up here, where letting someone know you are gay was tough, not illegal. Some of David’s reasoning can only be understood by someone who grew up in Nigeria or a similar country where it is illegal to be gay.
Why would this be such big news in Nigeria? I believe it is because the press still wants to vilify gay men and women. They want to show that the USA is a place that corrupts the morals of children and is a den of sin an iniquity. The current political election probably isn’t helping change that impression much. The mere thought of two men getting married is enough to incite vitriol from all corners of Nigeria, and other parts of the world still today.
We queer folk still have a lot of fighting to do. We may have thankfully won marriage equality here on American soil, but until it is legally safe for our gay, queer, trans, and gender non-conforming brothers, sisters, and family to live their lives as they wish to be in all corners of the world, the fight must go on.
Photo Credit: Luke Reynolds Photography / Huffington Post
Did you see anything about me wanting to come over???
Hmm no.. didn’t think soo
Just take a deep look at ur self then u will know am only trying to help u get out of Ur wayward life style… U try well well…U0001f44fU0001f3feU0001f44fU0001f3feU0001f44fU0001f3fe finish ur yarnsh Na u knowU0001f602U0001f602 but hold on, do u still have parent??? Cuz no good parents would allowed their son to be miserable like you! Guy, I nor sabi fancy GRAMMAR… Ur yarnsh well well. GAYMAN like u!!
Go to hell
James D’Aviator Durojay Nincompoop?? Problem nor Dey cuz when u don finish ur yarnsh Na der u go know say Nincom- nor- poop… GAYMAN!! U must change bro believe me or die… GAYMAN!! When are u visiting nigeria? U better not take ur Gay self there ooh cuz u won’t like how u will end up.
My cousin is gay, but he’s still alive, still receive blessings. Let God judge not you.
Who created gays,they didn’t just fall from a tree,Hatred is a disease,So let GOD be the one to judge them.
Being gay is wrong some people say. Meanwhile they cheat on their wife/husband on a Saturday and go to church on a Sunday ?☕
Qunhunchakiu laffn in Chinese…
Gush, its iritating. Da wil die a day to their xo call wedding. So shal it be In Jesus Name
God punish devil….
Mtchwwwwwe
You have just spoken my mind sis. Instead of them to pray for the forgiveness of their sinful lives, they are here emphasizing only gay sin.
U don’t no what u r doing, God have mercy
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Malcolm ehhhh. you wan kill me with laff
Steffen Nyheim Eivik U0001f633U0001f633U0001f633U0001f633U0001f633
Very soon e nyash go come out and the result go be say e go di use diapers for the nyash because control no go be again
remember that jesus is white blonde blue eyes. that s why white will always command over black ppl. think about that
Lol MAGA and MUGU U0001f62c
Maureen Atieno come read my sister…one word waaaa!
You are so dirty girl
See ur dead Gay face‼️mothersucker
Who is the wife?
So na this kind of sin is Jesus is talking about. It’s seems you are reading bible in opposite direction.
Oladimeji Oladipupo with all due respect sir, it’s either of two things, you either didn’t fully read my comment where I fully acknowledged homosexuality as a sin or you chose to selectively ignore one half of my statement.
Ive been a follower of Christ for three years now and I diligently study my bible and I don’t need you or anyone else telling me I’m reading the bible in the opposite direction. My comment clearly said that as Christians we are called to be a light to the world. People on here were making ignorant comments for them to be killed now I ask you as a follower of Christ is that what Jesus would do? The bible said explicitly Jesus came to this world for the sinners and to save them from their evil ways which only leads to destruction.
I will leave you with the scripture John chapter 8. Also the bible is clear ALL have failed and fallen short of His glory. So I advice you to recognize this and drop your holier than thou attitude.
Bitch it matter
I see soo many hate here. Soo many sin. And yet you feel better? You live with pedofiles thieves and murderers. But gay people are the worse because they have different taste? Interesting.
People call me all kind of names. Yet they know nothing about me or the lifestyle i live.
It just proves my point how stupid you really are actually.
I don’t think its poverty. He is just gay.
Henna Hof…. Some pple are just hypocrites….. We need to learn to accept pple for what they are here in Nigeria..
True James D’Aviator Durojay… I agree completely. It is nobody’s Business what anyone does with their lives as long as it does not bother me.. Well written.
Yeah… What abt the men that sleep with children?
Thats all im saying..
Im not telling nobody to be gay. But damn.. inhale exhale.. cause yall sound tired.
Congratulations couple of the year but I have one question for u mr gay and mrs gay if you father is gay do you think you will see dis world. May almighty God have mercy on u and everybody cos no one is holy
@comfort bt of the had committed abomination bt don’t forget it’s the man who will force to have Sex with de Goat bt de Goat will rather do it with it fellow goat.cos Gid created us in his own image and not in de image of animals.
@comfort bt of the had committed abomination bt don’t forget it’s the man who will force to have Sex with de Goat bt de Goat will rather do it with it fellow goat.cos Gid created us in his own image and not in de image of animals.
In leviticus 20:10 It is written “If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death”.In John 8:4-9 It is written 4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
And all of you big heads and small heads that is condeming this our brother to dead and cursing him and his generation. If you have never committed a sin before, be the first to cast the stone and i finally i will quote this version again.
Roman 3:23 It is written “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” and Jesus Christ said in Matthew 25:45 ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
Mark 12:31 “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
So my brothers and sisters in the Lord learn to spread love instead of hate. No me me talk am oh
never u come back to Nigeria,
But even the Bible said not to judge… So stop judging
For me I see know thing bad with gay to gay marry, if that is what them want so be it, guys enjoy your wedding life, know time and some guys wish to be just like you guys.