Nollywood actor and politician, Bob-Manuel Udokwu, has revealed the secrets of a happy life and successful marriage with his wife Cassandra.
On February 19, 2015, the couple celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary at Golden Tulip Hotel, Festac Town, in Lagos. In a recent interview with Vanguard, the couple decided to share with the public the lessons they have learned over the 15 years of their marriage.
According to Mr Udokwu, marriage is an interesting but intriguing journey for those who are ready to work on their relationship.
On hardships in marriage:
“You know when you get hitched with somebody from different backgrounds, you are two separate individuals but as adults agree to set up a home together. There are bound to be points of friction, disagreement and points of serious agreement as well. You have to find a way to navigate those narrow areas and be able to overcome prejudices, doubts or influences. The key is dialogue; we talk. If you close the door of dialogue, just welcome the deterioration of your relationship.”
The actor also confessed in his interview that when he got married he was pleasantly surprised and wondered why he had not done it earlier.
On advantages of marriage:
“If you don’t get married at a certain stage, you won’t be able to check the excesses that we men have. Beyond your mother, it’s only your wife that can make you come home at a certain time. You don’t do things in excess because you have someone who looks after you beyond your mother, somebody you left at home who cares for you. It’s also a sign of maturity for us as Africans. You grow from being someone’s child to being someone else husband or wife. It’s a responsibility. Our society thrusts on you and hopes you handle it maturely. When you succeed in marriage, it’s always very good.”
On lessons learnt in 15 years of marriage:
“I have learnt that being a man you have a huge responsibility not just to your wife, but also to your children. These children come into the world and see you as their hero. The very first foundation of life starts from the family. If you don’t get it right, then the society will be worse off for it. The joy of family life is when you see your children grow in life and they are able to do certain things based on the knowledge you pass to them.”
When asked to give advice for intending couples and those who are already married, the Nollywood actor called for dialogue and communication between loving people.
“When you have issues, discuss it among yourselves immediately. Don’t leave it for tomorrow, because when you leave it for tomorrow, seeds of discord might be sowed. Once that seed is being planted, then you start analyzing and digesting. The mind starts thinking about different things. Communicate when you are together and when you are not together. Marriage is friendship.”
Another Nollywood star and a beautiful actress, Grace Amah, has recently explained why she is not in a hurry to say ‘I do’.