Following the tragic death of Ronke Shonde, Ladies are sharing their own experiences. Below is Nkiruka’s survivor story. She shared the post on Instagram.
“The domestic violent story that led to the death of Ronke Bewaija Shonde today broke my heart and took me back to memory lane. Yes that is my ex husband and I, I was just 19 years on that photo. you can see the innocence in my eyes.
We where perfect , very perfect , outside but we fought inside .
You see that smile on that picture was plastic .
I was beaten to the alter on my wedding day .What happened because I was tired and refused to pack plate .
I swallowed it and matched to the alter .
With tears In my eyes the pastor asked will you take him as your husband for better for worse , till death do you part?? Tears rolled down my eyes but the crowed clapped , screaming tears of joy ??.I embarked on the journey of marriage .
At the age of 19 years I endured like a lion .
This fine young man here is an animal .He beat me up and even beat up my younger once . The day he beat me to coma , he was beating my lifeless body before he was stopped and I was rushed to the hospital .
Do you know what my mother in law told me as I gained consciousness , she said (nkiru, lucky will beat you again o, get ready cause the father beat me too )
I went back in to coma .He begged and I went back home .
This continued until I decided to face reality .
But the truth is , do you know why we women endure domestic violence ???1) financial security . Yes I was scared to leave because I did not know how to begin financially .
2) society .. Yes after bragging to my friends , and society see you as a lucky perfect girl you will want to keep it that way .
3) loneliness … Yes you are scared if u will find someone better . I was saying who will marry me again , with my boobs like this , stretch marks , milk was still coming out of my boobs as of then , my big tommy etc , I was insecure , so I stayed.
Until one day , I woke and took a strong decision to walk away .
And when I left I left with nothing .I left empty handed and embarked of this journey .
I kept repeating my name , Nkiruka , Nkiruka , Nkiruka (my future is bigger ) until I reached my destination .Now I can hit my chest and tell myself I took the right step, even tho I never knew where I was going”
Yet Another lady shared her own tale of Domestic violence…She revealed hers while commenting on Facebook about the tale of Ronke.
She claims her husband comes home late at night, sometimes drunk…and he beats her everyday with cutlass, and tries to target her eye. She says her Parents told her not to come back to their house as she was the one who chose to marry him.
She also says she’s broke..as she cannot move out of her matrimonial home where her husband beats her everyday. Read Below:
Still battling with mine, comes home late in the night, beat me with cutlass especially targeting my eye, Parent warned me not to come back hom because I chose him…I’m Financially broke to move out and get an apartment…He tore my certificate, drops no money, still hoping on God to send an helper because I’m fed up, with 2 wonderful kids.
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And you don’t know wat odo stick is for ba?. He will soon kill u.
Nice one cutlass love that’s why he beat you
Calling for epp hinsh
And still u married him
I can’t be blind till that position….nope
Nice weed u smoked, liar.
Naija women don suffer until we all stand against domestic violence and a law is made like d western nations then d beast called men ll realise dt women r to b cherished nt beaten like animal if she is frustrating it is better to opt out then beat her
And u stil live with that kind of person?? Women sometimes uhmm u amuse me.enjoy yo marriage mehn
Just hang in there … We shall see….
https://youtu.be/gGyMdxAmedk(The Pregnant Child)
Hmm God will c u tru
He beats you everyday with cutlass n you’re still alive? This one no real cutlass love
Men wif ds their evil tradition….. Nawao
With cutlass..he dey bam you as v.k
I’m sure the lollipop is very sweet that is why you are still there enjoy the cutlass love U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602
Is your husband a member of BAKASSI BOYS?
And what are you still doing there
LIARS…….COMMON….IF U LADIES ARE FROM ABRIBA…..NOT WE GUYS……AHHAAA…..
To strong and courageous women. Marriage is love. When it becomes pain you have to get out whether you got family or friend help. Unless you want to die.
40% of domestic violence are against men and non of us are complaining,I hate violence either way but these ladies complain too much.I know of a bride in kano that killed her husband 2 days after marriage and lawyers are protecting her now and people are silent about it
Enjoy yo marriage mehn
Many of girls betray their parents and marry idiots that is a curse following them
In every case…the abuser is wrong o…no doubt..bt i still blame the abused….Ave they not heard that he who runs away..lives to fight another day?…
But why generalizing?
Are you forced to stay in a violent marriage?
THEN IF YOU DONT LEAVE HIM ,HE WILL LEAVE YOU ONE DAY OR KILL YOU. MUMU WIFE
Y personalising it a law shd b passed shikena
Read it again. she is no longer with him.
Women always try to proof innocent even if they are guilty, Nonsense, for those of you that are looking for handsome, swarg, and tall guys, beating is the penalty.
This is the problem of women, they always proof innocent, they never wants to Narrate their bad side and wicked hearts, men always at fault, may God have mercy on us.
U r a big fool go beat ur mama and sisters beast must u comment on my wall ur speech shows u r a monster
No matter the woman’s attitude or faults it does no warrant been beating up by her husband (one who once claimed to have loved her). Every wife beater is a weakling
This is the problem of women,I mean why do you stay put,simply b’cos you want that title of Mrs so and so,I understand in our society dirvoce is like a dead pernalty but sorry girl marriage is not do or die matter get out if is not working we are no more in the olden days where u must stay either good or bad
oooga ôo, ladies should just look before they leap…
Most women rushed into marriage without thier parents blessings,even when they are being told the truth,they profess LOVE ,some are very lazy looking for already made husband.Some want to marry because thier friends are getting married,so they want to belong,thats why they tolorate beaten in the name of love,marriage no be by force.
Dat is y i like d whites, d man cannot beat his children talk more of beaten his wife in a white man country otherwise d man will wrath in jail… Pls Buhari when will u bring in such laws in Nigeria? Women are not to suffer
Real men don’t beat their women no matter how bad U re been provoked!
Amaka Nwafor Orji you mean if a woman starb your brother with knife and the woman should go free?
U r a cow!! Ur father is a beast
From ur speech it shows u r one those kills for pleasure olofo
All men dt beat a lady ll die untimely. As long as God liveth na by force ni
If a lady is irritating no be by force to love or stay with someone who disgust u abeg leave so many fishes out there must u kill or beat to show ur skills for love
Nk baby I thank God for u jaree.. u a strong woman.. kip waxing strong..
Where is the mark on your body ? E go soon start to use dagger and jackknife no worry level go change
A responsible man walks out on an argument wit a woman, when he cools down he can come back, u don’t wait for it to reach d extend of exchanging blows talkless using a knife. U know women can say a lot of provocative things while quarrelling, a true gentleman walks out nd let her rant on her own nt showing how powerful he is on her. If u’re dat strong go to d boxing ring nd face a fellow man. Inshort any man dat beats a woman is a coward period.
Lol, you not serious!
God we see us true
Bro, has your father ever beaten your mother? What nonsense excuse would a man have to beat a woman? That’s insanity guy, there are better ways to sort out issues rather than beating your wife
I believe this.Sorry Sister hope you GOT AWAY.
I did not walk away, I ran away
that one na una moslem thg. investigate the matter properly n u will undastd y d r covering it
so bcos of all u jst mentioned, they SLD b murdered, right?
there are several ways to kill a rat. u MST not beat to prove a point.
y don’t u pple read d full gist before commenting?
Well that’s your choice you allowed it, it’s gonna continue he is not going to stop. Once he beats you once he will definitely beat you again, don’t expect him to change.
Lmao so they should not complain and stay till they’re killed? How reasonable.
That’s why ladies should get good job before getting married,have your own money,don’t rush into marriage.God doesn’t support divorce but when one choose right from the start ,that’s better.For those having difficulties in their marriage God will intervene
I will never suport any man dat beats up a woman,no matter her offence.u cant try dat here in d philippines cos if d woman file a case,ur going to jail.pls my fellow men,women are our pet.we hve to treat dem nice
Come on Collins M Ekele,there are many ways to handle such issues.not by beating or retaliating.if u stab her back,wat will u profit?Nothing cos u just acted childishly.
God bless u Abbey
Bless u too Tommy Leezy.dats just d simple truth
The problem is that when it comes to domestic violence, men are always the victimised one. Just that when domestic violence happened against men,it doesn’t carry much publicity unlike when a woman is victimised. All same domestic violence is bad and should not be encouraged.
@ abbey, there’s something we call self defense. You’re entitled to use deadly force if your life is threaten. Sometimes walking away is not an option.
Abbie she is telling u to watch before u leap..Societal pressure to get married has pushed alot of women into marrying anything that comes their way..
Whites have more horrible cases.. They kill their wives and even set the kids ablaze.. No try those people o.
You see the practical thing now only u ladies giving excuse weather Muslim thing or some one will stay and be killed
Everybody is talking abt how men beat their wives..Nobody is talking abt the cause of these domestic violence.. I am totally against men beating their wives but at the same time.. Women shld learn to respect their men..Ever since this stupid word “feminism” became popular, women hardly respect their men..Like why shld i bow down to u.. That’s where the problem starts..Never make ur man feel u r challenging his authority.. Ladies pls respect ur men.. plss
ur religion defends death n I blv ur ladies don’t ve rights either that’s y they allow suppression n intimidation
You don’t know Islam totally, Islam give absolute protection to ladies. Had it been Islamic laws will be applied, she would have killed since,but now that constitution is applied I don’t think she will be killed and the end of the day
If you are undergoing marital abuse, be you man or woman, hmmm run for your dear life ooo. If u dont scream it or at least say it, nobody will know about it. So if you are a man and choose to cover the abuse you re undergoing, i cannot come and carry placard for u ooo unless ua my relation or friend, ehee.
If not, biko lemme finish carrying placard for my fellow women who may be helplessly suffering first.
You see that’s what we are saying women complain too much.why?
Aminu Khalil Dude where did you get the 40% from….and if I may ask you between a man and a woman who is physically stronger……..We have a right to complain if your pride is keeping you from complaining that is not our fault…men have so much pride women value their life more……We will complain so that action is taken to protect us…’the weak’….if men are okay with then being beaten..let them go ahead n stay quiet.
@Nwabueze, biko men publicize domestic violence against men na. Me i will help them to carry placard. Whether man or woman, no spouse deserves to be beaten like an animal by their spouse. So as for those of you trying to play the blame game here, y’all know as well as i do that there is no justification to constantly hit a human mercilessly. How come those wife beaters never get to beat their siblings, mums, kids, friends, even when such people push them to the apex of their endurance? But once its a misunderstanding with their supposed wife and lover, no matter how little, they decide to showcase their male(okuko) power. Mtscheeww… Inshort sef no need to even be preaching all these sermon, just let someone touch my daughter once.
You claim equality, and many of you believe what a man can do women can do better.please if you believe with ur so called equality with men stop complaining
Men are doing all what they can to protect women and you are not thankfull
You know all what you just said clearly just doesnt gel. Because there is absolutely, and i repeat, absolutely no justification to hit your partner. How many times have u heard women hitting their cheating husbands or husbands who refuse to play their roles as men? Or you think all those arent disrespectful to women?And i still dont understand why most naija always always refuse to understand the actual meaning of feminism. Well, u can choose to understand or not. All i know and i will continue to say is “there is no justification for hitting a spouse, be you man or woman”. How come such people dont get to react like that even when someone outside treats them like absolute trash but will readily even cut out blood from their spouse at the slightlest provocation? The same you guys will casually tell a wife with a cheating husband to take a chill pill since, in the usual words of the ignoramuses, “all men are polygamous in nature”. What if women hit their men for every of these disrespect and provocation? And how come the same men travel to more developed countries and are immediately able to control the same ego and temper they seemed not to have been able to back home in naija. So try and be unbiased with reference to domestic violence. No spouse deserves to be hit by their spouse no matter what the provocation is except ofcourse as an act of self defense. C’est finis!
If you no get talk abeg go rest. Which authority? I don’t blame you. na your type dey dish other rubbish to their wives and still expect them to eat it with a smile. Like I said go sleep, u no get talk.
Ownyi Ordygbo u don’t even ve a point lol
Many women choice that lifestyle… Every women shd knw by now that if he hit u once he will hit u again.
Authority!
Hian!
Na soldier wey dey take orders from their chief captain?
Let right…left right…forward march..
I salute u oo my boss oga in marriage.
My sista bf asked if she is stupid during agreement & she broke up wit him. Am glad she saw d green light that’s how violent begin. Frm verbal abused to physical violence.
Ah ah, as fine&cools as he looks?
Lol.. See them on the attack.. I have made my point and it is left for anybody to think.. The way to a man’s heart is not thru good food, good sex and all the crap.. Respect ur man today if u have any and enjoy ur man.. I am and will always be against men hitting women.. I can’t remember doing that in my entire life.. Have u ever asked urselves why our forefathers lived happily ever after with their wives? Well it is because women were more submissive to their husbands than today. Feminism has made alot women think submission is not right.. I don talk the one wey i know.. Back to my huslte i don’t sleep on Monday mornings.. Have a nice day attackers lol.
Are you married and do you have sisters or female relatives who are married?
No Irene Emem
He is not your husband so think twice
Another typical woman beater, you better change your thinking cap.
He beats u bf marriage yet, it didn’t teach u any lesson. U still went ahead to marry him. Y d rush?. Wat a shame
Ur choice ni
You dis igbo boy again.
Obinna Ohakweh that makes it all justifiable right? Why does the woman get blamed for everything? We need to instil confidence in women not quilt
Abbie Shimisonter Akaa, from what i just wrote,women should not use marriage as a hide out,they should not rush into marraige,and should’nt be comfortable with beaten,
Adebayo Sunday, you make me laugh.
What a very romantic man!
Okay well said, but at the same time if u feel like ur wife has no respect for u then divorce her, u dnt have the right to turn her into ur punching bag because that does not bring abt respect but instill more hate. This way someone ends up dead or in jail
Well said
If any man feel thwir wife is derepectful then divorce her, nothing gives u the right to hit a woman, hitting her doesn’t excude respect but more hate. Situations like this can only lead to 2 things death or jail. And if men refuse to listen and change a lot of men will end up 6ft under because by the look of things most women in an abusive marriage will start taking situation into their own hands, and it doesn’t have to be this way
The reason why our fore father’s were happy was because not only were their wives submissive, but they were also uneducated, no money, no home, no say. They also had a short life span because their job, like u said was to make men happy cook, bear children, beaten if they open their mouth and still go to the farm when needed abi? Nonsense
My sister it’s the grace of God, pray and fast over any man u want to marry, because even having a good job and money makes some men still feel less of a man even if the woman is submissive they see need to abuse her to make them self feel better because she has a masters degree and he has a degree and am talking African men/ 9ja men wake up
Finally, something I agree with
Lol