Actresses can have a happy home, mother of two Mercy Johnson Okojie says in a new interview with Leadership. She also talked about what causes high rate of divorce among celebs. Read below…
There is a general notion that actresses do not make good wives. Do you agree with this submission?
Well, I can only speak from my own perspective and when I say my perspective, I mean from my personal experiences, marriage and relationship with my husband. One of the biggest lies anyone can tell himself/herself is using one or more random experiences to judge and stereotype others. We all have our different stories to tell. I have two children for my husband today and he has not stopped talking about how down-to-earth I was yet I am an actress; not just any actresses. I had a large following at that time yet I did not go around pouting my lips or playing the snub.
My husband later confessed to me that for him, it was love at first sight but that did not stop him from asking me to cook for him the first day I set foot in his house. At first, I was stunned that a Nigerian man was asking me to enter his kitchen to cook him a meal. A part of me whispered to me that perhaps, he was not aware of who I was and when I said to him: ‘You must be joking. My name is Mercy Johnson’. What shocked me even more was his response when he said: ‘I know’. Rather than take offence, I was drawn closer to him. We have been married since 2011 and we love each other to bits till date and have consciously decided to spend the rest of our lives together. As I said earlier, I am an actress who is correcting the rigid stand that actresses cannot have happy homes when they get married. Also, bear in mind that there are several Nigerian actresses like me who are happily married. Having a happy marriage is a choice a woman has to make. When you decide to have a happy marriage, you focus your thoughts, actions, words, work and everything else around protecting that happiness. When you don’t do this, it’s perhaps wise to be honest and admit to one another that the spark is no longer there and that you’re not willing to put the effort in to make things work. Before long you might be requiring services from the likes of Mark Rees Law Firm, and that’s no bad thing if you’re both hoping to move forward with your lives and break apart amicably.
What do you think is responsible for the high divorce rate among celebrities?
In marriage, you must have trust and you must also have love. The moment you lose these two, then it is just a matter of time before you embark on a calamitous countdown towards the end of your marriage. My relationship with my husband has been very special. He is not just my husband or father of my children. He is my friend. And I don’t even want to think about the possibility of living my life away from him, and so that’s why divorce isn’t an option for us. Many people that I know have filed for divorces through professional lawyers, who work for somewhere similar to Denbigh Law Center to get the proceedings underway. Even just thinking about this is heartbreaking to me and I’m so lucky that I’m able to have such a special relationship with my husband.
Apart from love and trust, what other secrets would you attribute to the stability of your marriage?
I don’t even have to think about it. It is honesty. I remember the words of my pastor to me even before we got married. He advised me never to have a marriage built on lies and I listened. I don’t lie to my husband. We have agreed to tell the truth to each other regardless of how painful or scary it might be. I remember one instance when I found myself crying when I had to tell him the truth. That day, I had attended an event wearing a lovely dress that had a slit but unfortunately, at that event, the paparazzi captured a wrong image of me. I picked up my phone and I don’t think I have to tell you who I called first. My husband, of course, and guess what? I was crying and sobbing even before I started talking to him because I felt really bad about it. Rather than lie to him, I told him the complete truth and it helped in no small measure. I remember him asking how bad it was and I remember telling him that it was really bad. I sent him the photo and he consoled me. That is what a husband who is also a friend does. He did not rub it in my face, insult me, make me feel bad or dent my self-esteem. He was there for me when I needed him and he has not stopped till date. This is one of the reasons I do not hide anything from him. He loves me just as passionately and as fiercely as I love him and I have no doubt in my mind that our marriage was ordained. God had a hand in it and that is why everything just works out between us. That is the only thing I can consider the secret of our love story, which continues to blossom. I have two children, an amazing husband and millions of fans who have held my back over the years and of course, God who has watched over my affairs from the very first day I arrived in this world till this moment.