Written by Grandson Soyemi. Tiwa Salvage says she will always allow her estranged husband to have access to their son. As a Yoruba woman, she is totally in the wrong here. This is more so because the Yoruba people have three phases of marriage: the Introduction, the Engagement and the Registry, Church or Mosque Ceremony.
The most significant of the three stages is the engagement proper which is often conducted under the Yoruba Customary Marriage Act.
The Act states that the children of the union between a husband and a wife belong to the father and if the father dies, the children belong to his immediate family. Tiwa’s husband has all the rights over their child, according to the Yoruba culture and tradition, which are laws in Yoruba land.
However, this tradition is not the same as those of the White in America or the English from the United Kingdom, where more often than not it is the wife who has the custody of the children. In Yorubaland, it is the father who has the custody. Tiwa, therefore has no right whatsoever over the child of her union with the husband. She is in Lagos, Yorubaland and not in New York or London.
I have done this post to educate the gullible Yoruba Youth who may have watched Tiwa’s video. On reflection, I am, however disturbed on the mores and mishaps that increasingly afflict love and marriage among young Yorubas.
Our society expects us all to get married. With only rare exceptions, we all do just that. Getting married is a rather complicated business.
It involves mastering certain complex hustling and courtship games, the rituals and the ceremonies that celebrate the act of marriage, and finally the difficult requirements of domestic life with a husband or wife.
It is an enormously elaborate round of activities, much more so than finding a job, and yet while many resolutely remain unemployed, few remain unmarried.
Now all this would not be particularly remarkable if there were no question about the advantages, the joys, and the rewards of married life, but most Yoruba, even young Yoruba, know or have heard that marriage is a hazardous affair.
Of course, for all the increase in divorce, there are still young marriages that work, unions made by young men and women intelligent or fortunate enough to find the kind of mates they want, who know that they want children and how to love them when they come, or who find the artful blend between giving and receiving.
It is not these marriages that concern us here, and that is not the trend in Yoruba today. We are concerned with the increasing number of others who, with mixed intentions and varied illusions, grope or fling themselves into marital disaster.
They talk solemnly and sincerely about working to make their marriage succeed, but they are very aware of the countless marriages they have seen fail.
But young people in particular do not seem to be able to relate the awesome divorce statistics to the probability of failure of their own marriage. And they rush into it, in increasing numbers, without any clear idea of the reality that underlies the myth.
I can only hope Tiwa and her husband find the grace to work things out on their own.
Not all,some igbo guys too.not just all.
And what he did was……. Still thinkingU0001f615
Chioma Obidinma give it to him sista,;faggart
Another mumu talk
There is no need sounding tribalistic here.Don’t generalise next time.
Tiwa ur husband na woman wrapper.abeg free am joor
She has done d right tin,Tiwa,pls dnt allow dat gold digger to tak anytin dat belongs to u o.
Lol.my thought tho.
Obás Séýì…far from that. the fact remains..we all know our differences.
Adedoyin Adeyefa…let me agree with youU0001f60a
To hell with tradition! Nothing good comes from a drug addict so please leave this woman alone!
The Man is a Gold Digger
That’s why I like igbo men …they are very hard working and rarely depend on women
Why are so many Yoruba men lazy and want to depend on women? Sorry for the hardworking ones if you find my comment harsh..but the percentage of lazy ones is alarming!..
See your stupid mouth, u no get sista?
I think she did the right thing,Tiwa endured until Tj exposed himself to the public…if he didn’t write such nonsense claiming he’s account was hacked Tiwa wouldn’t have been interviewed(it’s as simple as ABC)
God bless u my sista
Oga grandson soyemi, that is why d most important of the 3 marriage process is the court/ registry. my kids are mine!
tru that my dear
But you want a man to pay your bride price according to tradition Abi? Ok.
Uncle,I said there are “some useless traditions”.
Oga tradition does Yoruba allows committing of suicide, been a drug addict, cheating on your wife, stealing from your wife when u meant to provide and take care of her, which son are even talking about the same one he has spent nothing on according to her. Tradition my ass please go get a life and focus on your Damm business
Where is mr red? Is he tired of responding to everybody?
Yoruba men don’t respect women and I hate them for that…very selfish people when it comes to marriage.
Why Will U Get Marriage To A Woman And Make Go Through,when She Decides To Move On With Her Life She Becomes D Bad Person,i Just Hate Men.
Where is the Eminado?
Chioma you are a lesbian smelling pussi
Tina all my sister’s they are ok
Rubbish tradition untill the stupid animal put bullet on her stomach b4 u will understand this young lady is dying right ? God punish u with that nonsense traditional dea. They stupid jobless husband want manna to fall from heaven for him . that mumu jobless call husband didn’t deserve Tiwa at all . the stupid guy didnt even thank God for giving him chance to have Tiwa . is good to give a gold for someone who know they value not mumu who dont know anything call Gold . Tiwa ur fans still luv u no one can stop ur blessing . osinachi ………
Ene Helen miss ashawo why are you jealous of me ? Isn’t because you are too ugly ?::: thunder fire smelling pussi
My friend God bless u 100 times i luv ur comment
Vanessa if you think my comment is not ok . jump out.
Adaeze Martha La Reina .tried “no no I’m just thinking about tomorrow because is a work day I have to wake up early all this blah blah blah I’m going to stop it today
What tradition,my problem with Nigerian men is dat Nigerian men never believe they are wrong in anything
What kind of tradition is that? You want her die with Tj all In the name of tradition? Come on men…… That’s not fair
Who made u the Oduduwa of yoruba culture? The man is right to talk any nonsense about his wife in public but the woman has no right abi?
Adaeze Martha La Reina please get lost
Absolutely true, so many women died through domestic violence according to record. It appears d tradition makes it almost impossible for some women to ve a voice. Women needs to start empowering each other and stop shying away from reality.
Know serious guys we dati you because you are too local
Full of makeup smelling face
Am telling you my sister
ABAJO……TRADITION UR FOOT ABI…??….WE SHALL SEE………NO BE U…??….I BEG PARK ONE SIDE…
MADAM…I BEG GO MARRY…..
@gbenga..yeah its me,we knw men like u
MADAM ADEZE…I BEG GO PARK ONE SIDE…..JUST DEY BLOW TRUMPET…
@BICYCLE….PLS PARK ONE SIDE…..
BALOGUN….EH PAIN U……
@LILIAN…..PLEASE WITHDRAW THAT STATEMENT…….U VE ELDERS AT ALL…??????
Why you no go marry her @Gbenga Irewole, men like you will be supporting bad things after you will be looking for change when you cannot change yourself.
I don’t think YORUBAS has marriage tradition because their women like jumping from one man to another after marriage
You must be a graduated fool for such comment, we know se you be the queen of ashawo, maybe na you show tiwa road.
Not all of them my dear my husband is a yuruba man and he treats me with respect and kindness and i am not african….so you can’t generalize
Gabriel Patience Shónãc thunder fire you there ugly fussy
Ugly girl I don’t even know what to call
Thunder fire that your smelling mouth and your fussy
A man that can not afford to buy baby milk, a drug addict plsssss, you better keep quiet if you don’t know what to say.
Not trying to discredit Yoruba’s but from what we hv seen mmmmmm
Na by marriage ask of of my investment @ my age nd degree’s…I no want marry lazy man Bros….
Am vry much sure that u belong to the achievers club too that always suck ladies hard earn cash dry in the name of marriage @gbenga.
She ia wrong n d husband is right abi? Oga go n sir somewhere where was culture wen he was abusing n saying bad things abt her?
Seyifunmi Aina you are calling your culture useless, well i don’t blame you.
@micheal…yeah u re not in the position to blame me bcs u don’t understand simple sentences.
Kingsley U. Chigozie my brother you are right, if that man is Igbo man, i believe he would have use a little support he get from that lady and make the lady proud.
God bless or home the more my sister…
She never called traditions useless as a whole, she only said some tradition,….. try to read well and understand before u judge and try to view it from her point….. happy new to u all
To hell with the so called customary marriage act. Let the girl be I beg!